♥
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Did my army half marathon tdy.. it was more of a motivational race for me as i've been feeling quite lazy plus not motivated to run.. i really dun know wat used to kept me motivated to run.. actually i felt quite gd for de race tdy.. first 10km was very comfortable.. had a toilet break in between as i really cant take it.. probably wasted a 2mins in there but at least i felt better to run but kinda lost de momentum cuz was struggling after de toilet break.. pushed myself for de last 3km.. did a 1hr 55mins 8 secs (hand-timed) for my army half marathon..
spoke to eric after dat.. well he kinda mentioned dat be it whether i trained or not, i'm always doin around this timing: 1hr 50mins to 2hrs.. pretty demoralising to hear dat.. feel like i'm coming to de end of my running.. since i cant improve anymore, i dun see any point in trying or working hard for smthg dat i wont make any difference.. wat's de point of continuing since i cant seem to motivate myself as well.. sometimes i juz feel so tired.. i cant find de perfect reason to push myself.. sometimes i juz dun know wat i really wanna do in life.. some days i feel like i know every path i shld take for my future plan.. some days i juz feel so lost, dun know wat i really want in life.. some days i'm happy from de bottom of the heart but most days i asked myself if i'm really happy or i'm juz trying to be happy or i'm juz entertaining pple, making them happy.. some days i asked myself if i'm truly happy but if i feel happy, wat's really making me happy, most of the time i cant find de answer to my question.. recently i feel tired easily.. not just physically but mentally.. not juz work but home.. some days i feel like isolating myself.. some days i feel like disappearing from this world.. most of the days i juz dun feel like i'm making any difference or contributing in any ways.. some days i asked myself if i can make a comeback in my sporting arena.. some days i tell myself i shld juz give up.. i really dun know wat i want.. is it really so difficult to find out wat i really want.. recently i miss my mum alot.. cuz i know if she's ard me, i dun have to wash my muddy shoes these 2 days.. i can b a princess.. picked up by dad after race, go home, shower, haf dinner and sleep, not having to worry abt my dirty clothes and stuffs.. tink i really take my parents for granted.. anywae i had survived a race tdy, one more race next wk (nike human race) and after which i shld really consider if i really wanna continue training or i shld juz forget abt coming back to my sporting arena.. WATEVER.. Life is really fucked up..
♥ princ3ss_di ♥
a DeViL iN an AnGeL dIsgUiSe..
"you put the pink back in the sky,
you insert the rainbow in my eyes,
you're that silver lining in my prayer,
painting colours everywhere."
diplomatic and urbane
romantic and charming
easygoing and sociable
idealistic and peaceable
indecisive and changeable
gullible and easily infuenced
flirtatious and self-indulgent
LIKES
♥The finer things in life
♥Sharing
♥conviviality
♥Gentleness
DISLIKES
-Violence
-Injustice
-Brutishness
-Being a slave to fashion
♥
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Did my army half marathon tdy.. it was more of a motivational race for me as i've been feeling quite lazy plus not motivated to run.. i really dun know wat used to kept me motivated to run.. actually i felt quite gd for de race tdy.. first 10km was very comfortable.. had a toilet break in between as i really cant take it.. probably wasted a 2mins in there but at least i felt better to run but kinda lost de momentum cuz was struggling after de toilet break.. pushed myself for de last 3km.. did a 1hr 55mins 8 secs (hand-timed) for my army half marathon..
spoke to eric after dat.. well he kinda mentioned dat be it whether i trained or not, i'm always doin around this timing: 1hr 50mins to 2hrs.. pretty demoralising to hear dat.. feel like i'm coming to de end of my running.. since i cant improve anymore, i dun see any point in trying or working hard for smthg dat i wont make any difference.. wat's de point of continuing since i cant seem to motivate myself as well.. sometimes i juz feel so tired.. i cant find de perfect reason to push myself.. sometimes i juz dun know wat i really wanna do in life.. some days i feel like i know every path i shld take for my future plan.. some days i juz feel so lost, dun know wat i really want in life.. some days i'm happy from de bottom of the heart but most days i asked myself if i'm really happy or i'm juz trying to be happy or i'm juz entertaining pple, making them happy.. some days i asked myself if i'm truly happy but if i feel happy, wat's really making me happy, most of the time i cant find de answer to my question.. recently i feel tired easily.. not just physically but mentally.. not juz work but home.. some days i feel like isolating myself.. some days i feel like disappearing from this world.. most of the days i juz dun feel like i'm making any difference or contributing in any ways.. some days i asked myself if i can make a comeback in my sporting arena.. some days i tell myself i shld juz give up.. i really dun know wat i want.. is it really so difficult to find out wat i really want.. recently i miss my mum alot.. cuz i know if she's ard me, i dun have to wash my muddy shoes these 2 days.. i can b a princess.. picked up by dad after race, go home, shower, haf dinner and sleep, not having to worry abt my dirty clothes and stuffs.. tink i really take my parents for granted.. anywae i had survived a race tdy, one more race next wk (nike human race) and after which i shld really consider if i really wanna continue training or i shld juz forget abt coming back to my sporting arena.. WATEVER.. Life is really fucked up..
