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♥ Sunday, November 04, 2007
18:19

i havent been blogging for so long.. well mayb mel is right.. when we cant take this stress level, blogging became our way of venting frustration.. well but y am i here blogging again? my life has been fine since i came back frm hk.. at least i dun feel upset easily.. i dun get mood swing easily.. seldom haf negative thoughts.. it was more of like but to almost de old time me.. focused on wat i need to do.. focused on wat's my goal n how do i plan to achieve it.. anywae now my current plan is to get my class 3 licence and my practical test is end of jan.. pretty fast right? like wat i had planned - 3mths.. hopefully i can get my licence wif one passed.. next is my running - coming really soon.. frankly speaking i dun tink i can hit eric's target but rather i juz wanna complete my 10km wif a comfortable pace.. actually mayb i can hit a 50min race time.. well but gotta see how hard-working i will b to follow my training programme strictly.. beats me.. next is hopefully i can get into my advanced diploma (ccnc) next year.. awaiting for result..

went out wif this guy last nite.. so far he's de only one dat makes my heart pound after yc.. he's one dat makes me forget yc.. but yet i know i cant trust him.. i only he's been sweet talking to me.. but i juz enjoy him sweet talking to me.. telling me things i wanna hear.. making me unable to breathe when i get close to him.. oh god.. since i came home last nite, i couldnt stop tinking abt him.. his imge floats in my mind every now & then.. i would b tinking whether if he has finish work.. busy at work.. tired? n things.. but i know very well this is very unreal.. unrealistic.. but i like living in this dream now.. at least i feel happy.. i can feel love once again.. i dun feel cold.. i feel warmth in his hug.. but yet another part of me tells me to beware of him.. dun develop more feelings as i will end up hurting myself only.. but anywae guess i will juz let everything stay as it is now.. let it b a beautiful memory.. but a part of me wants this to b a even more beautiful memory as a selfish me wants him all by myself n juz me myself.. hiaz.. this is confusing.. de more i tink abt wat will happen in de future, de more my heart will ache..