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♥ Sunday, November 25, 2007
15:06

back home on friday 23rd nov 2007, when de tragic incident happened to my frens: jeremy (da tou), reuben & boon san (hotdog) who represented singapore in a dragonboat race in cambodia at de tonle sap river, i was embracing myself on my bed while they were all fighting for survival.. i was happily enjoying myself thru de night, went to bedok reservoir, tinking abt de good old dragonboat times.. but y didnt anyone shared de first hand news wif me? by de time i heard abt de news on sat, i was too shocked.. too disturbed.. i cldnt get any more news except dat they haf been down in de water for more than 12 hrs.. oh gosh.. wat's happening to the world? i bought wateva newspapers i could get on hand.. flipping anxously thru all de pages, reading thru de articles abt de incident but nothing more i could find out except, repeatedly the 5 missing singaporeans in cambodia.. not long ago i encountered death of my fren ian ng.. now come 3 of my other frens.. i prayed for their safety.. for miracles to happen.. but all my hopes been dashed.. all they found were bodies of de 5 missing singaporeans n not all 5 singaporeans had been saved.. can i do an exchange wif god? de remaining of my life in exchange for them to live a little longer.. y do human beings only regret when smthg has happened? i've been asking myself.. y didnt i turn up for de gatherings.. y didnt i arranged for another db gathering.. i've been so selfish tinking abt myself.. y didnt i learn my lesson after ian's death? while reminishing thru de old memories.. i missed jeremy de most.. he's like one of de best team mates i had, one of de best buddy i had.. one of de best guy i can rely on.. one of de best bro i can trust.. u were so strong physically n mentally but y didnt u save urself? y did u tear all our hearts? i miss him n his idiotic smile, stupid face and super lame jokes.. reuben: de guy who plays really nice piano, who stunned us at one of our gathering at meixuan's plc.. whom i always call ruby boy.. boonsan: de one wif super hot lips.. but oso one who always kena suan by teammates.. but now all of them r gone.. too late to say goodbye.. too late to thank them for intruding my life.. too late to thank them for rowing wif me n making me in love wif dragonboat.. too late to thank them for being there in times of need.. every single thing is too late now.. i cant imagine them struggling down in de water.. de thought of them becoming unconscious in water like wat movie always showed is so scary.. struggling for every glimpse of hope to surface out of de water.. i was juz like them hoping dat they r safe n sound.. mayb resting at some nearby land.. i cried myself to sleep.. waking up every now n then, checking my hp for de latest piece of news.. watching de news for any latest update n logging online.. y all my frenz leaving me suddenly.. leaving us, their frenz.. in agony.. in sadness.. feeling remorseful.. feeling helpless.. i hope dat they can turn up right before my eyes so dat i can hug them n thank them.. had i knew everything, i would treasure every moments wif them.. it's always de had i, if i could, i wish n i hope..