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♥ Wednesday, July 18, 2007
23:01

this is probably de second time since i started sch in SIM dat i'm so focused.. well or mayb cuz der's new goals in life dat i really wanna achieve.. guess it's my character.. de more someone says dat i cannot make it, de more i wanna prove them wrong..

two days after i got back frm aust, i receive de news dat i failed two of my degree modules.. there were both my research modules.. been tinking thru how can i possibly failing my last sem.. i seriously cant believe it.. after much thinking n to comfort myself.. all i can tink of it's dat i was at my lowest point in life.. depressed.. lack of focus.. killing my liver.. injuring myself (not exactly).. u would haf probably seen a diana u nvr met b4.. but i'm glad i managed to get out of this mess.. out of unplanned life.. unachieved goals.. unfocused.. wateva u can name it.. didnt party much except for twice.. once was to meet my colleagues.. de other was to celebrate tim's bday.. hope he had fun.. anywae it's bday tmr.. "Happy Birthday Tim".. u haf really been a great fren except dat can u dun ask me to party wif u so often.. tink we shld do smthg else.. i still wanna surpass u in wat u r doin.. haha..

been talking to my buddy alot recently.. i really hope she'll get out of this mess soon.. tink i'm partly responsible for it too.. i shldnt haf encourage her to follow her heart.. in de end somehow or another i hurt her n hurt her deeply.. but i nvr expected dat asshole to lift his hands on her.. he's worst than a beast, no words can describe his behaviour.. who de fuck he tink he is to lift his hands on her.. he really shld go n reflect on his behaviour.. she's not even his pet or watsoever.. for chris sake, someone pls guide this insecured boy.. who cant even differentiate between a gf & a pet or even a toy.. he's a big fucking egoistic guy.. i nvr despise or criticize a guy until like dat he's probably de first.. gal, i really u really will get out it fast... remember it's his loss not urs.. he's not worth of ur love or tears.. u r so pretty (inside & outside), i'm sure u'll find someone even better.. rite now i really hope u can focus on ur studies for u shld know better than me dat u cant afford to fail any modules.. remember i'm always der so r many of ur frenz.. i'm sure anyone of us r willing to help u tide thru this crisis n hopefully u haf really learn ur lesson.. wat u wan n shld get is someone who appreciate u, who loves u, who dotes u.. dat's wat princess is always looking for, juz like me.. :) if i cant find den i shall b single forever.. who cares.. i can b alone so i dun really need any guys.. so how or rather, life is juz so amazing.. things always happen when u least expected it.. like wat u said, well how wonderful it'll b dat two frenz can b together forever.. like wat i said b4.. we r emotionally well connected.. life wif u around has been amazing.. n i really wanna thank u for dat.. anywae hope our dreams will come true, let's work hard together for it.. remember to stay happy.. sometimes when i look into my bank account, i'm really very disappointed wif wat i haf done.. i gotta kick my habit of buying things.. haf been packing my stuffs recently.. realised dat i've got far too much rubbish.. including gifts dat i bought for my frenz.. cards i've written a yr ago, it's all still hanging in my drawer.. this is so amusing.. wateva, hope everything is still not too late.. i wanna lead a comfortable life in future so i gotta plan well for my future.. but meanwhile de very next goal i wanna achieve is to finish & graduate wif a degree.. once i'm done wif dat, i'll move on to getting into ccnc.. as for physically, i wanna do a standard chartered relay end of this yr wif a reasonable timing.. i wanna prove those who tinks dat i cant come back after my accident.. de more u despise me, de mor eu look down on me.. de more i wanna prove u wrong.. even though it's really hard to b as strong as b4, but given de will power i'm sure i'll b able to overcome all de pain & hurt dat's gonna come in wif training.. like wat pple always say "no pain, no gain" stop wasting time & move on.. which means i shld b back on my books now..