dun know wat got into me but i juz feel so bored wif life.. i mentioned on msn, it's high time i do smthg.. but i really wonder n haf been tinking, wat in life i can do to make it more interesting?! i really wonder.. my life is really boring.. der's nothing i'm looking forward to.. really nothing.. y did my life become like dat? i dun like it n i'm really not used to staying at hm.. really boring.. but smtimes i also feel lazy to go out.. without sports, i've juz become a plain jane.. i hate being a plain jane.. i hate my life.. hiaz.. mayb utimately i juz hate someone.. hate him for jeopardising my life.. hate him for coming into my life.. hate him for making me feeling so miserable.. all these while i thot i can forget him.. but i juz cant.. am i feeling lonely? am i feeling not being loved? y am i tinking of him again?! whenever i travel alone, i tink of him.. whenever i'm alone, i tink of him.. whenever i go online, i tink of him.. der's juz so many things dat makes me tink of him.. remind me of him.. nonsense things i do, things i've nvr done b4, things i've done b4 but right now i'm doin them it's all bcuz of him.. mayb not, juz dat i'm feeling lonely.. this is so terrible.. i really hate my life now.. it's far too much free time for me to tink of him.. i really need to work on smthg so dat i can forget him.. i really need to forget abt him, everything related to him n move on.. gal, u gotta move on.. really move on.. n far away.. really far away.. FAR FAR AWAY.. HIGH HIGH in the SKY..
been feeling a little close to my sister recently.. so close until we r planning to really start saving for a plc of our own.. individual corner.. hopefully our plan can work.. nothing beats staying wif ur family.. miss my parents too.. miss my siblings.. miss the good old times we used to spend together but now they r so far away.. wish i can look after my dad now esp after his operation but i'm juz so far.. damn far.. i really hate my life.. life is juz so miserable.. life is pathetic..
seems like nothing is goin smoothly for me recently.. my adv racing fren msg me tdy.. i really miss racing.. i miss training.. i miss running.. without sports, i find no way for ventilation.. wif sports, no matter how stress or how busy or how upset or how tired or how lonely or watsoever, i'll still live life happily after ventilation.. der's juz nothing right now.. went running tdy but juz after 2nd round i felt backache but i didnt care n i juz continue running.. am i ruining my life? i hoped not cuz der's so many things i wanna achieve.. der's so many things i wanna do.. like getting my adv diploma.. getting promoted.. earning big bucks.. falling in love.. getting married.. starting a family..
i'm so sad now.. really sad.. so sad dat i'm tearing while blogging n chatting wif melissa.. tks babe.. and liz too.. for taking the effort to send m&m minis for me all the way frm oz.. believe me, i'm trying very hard to b strong.. alot of pple admire me, i know.. but pple dun know dat i actually dun admire my life.. i dun admire myself.. i simply HATE myself.. i really wish i was killed in the accident.. n b gone frm this world.. kinda feeling tired living.. wearing a mask everyday.. cant b myself.. but seriously speaking.. who am i? wat am i? wat kind of life do i wan? if i cant even answer myself, who can? god? is god really dat mighty? dat powerful? i wonder.. time for pondering.. time for meditating.. time for recovering.. time for isolation.. i cant take it anymore.. my head is juz spinning der.. it's tearing me apart.. BE GONE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> hope i'll b back soon.. really SOON.. BYE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
