♥
Monday, August 25, 2008
had a really busy day @ work.. 2 mc means 2 staffs down, means take one more case.. thankfully i had an empty room and i managed to tai-chi de patient to come in during pm shift.. at least i didnt take nap when i came home.. in fact i did smthg even more stupid.. lester wanted to run, so i thot i cld do an easy run after yesterday's ahm.. who knows 15mins into de jog, i felt pain coming thru my right knee but i didnt really stop and continued running, but another min passed and i cldnt take de pain any more.. i stopped and walk for abt 3-5mins and i continued jogging again, cont for another 5mins of even much slower jog.. ultimately i gave up as de pain was too unbearable.. i ended limping home cuz i cldnt even walk probably, every step i took, i cld feel de pain from de front of knee radiating till de back of de knee.. i'm really not sure wat's wrong, iced them for de whole nite, hopefully it'll b better tmr, otherwise i dun know how to do my nike human race this sun.. in fact after tinking thru de whole of last nite n whole of tdy while working, i realised, i cant give up running.. in fact i'm goin channel all de negative thots i had yesterday to b positive.. giving me motivation to train harder and prove to everyone including myself dat i'm not juz there, i'll b way in front.. but meanwhile b4 i can do dat, i better get my knee fixed..
♥
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Did my army half marathon tdy.. it was more of a motivational race for me as i've been feeling quite lazy plus not motivated to run.. i really dun know wat used to kept me motivated to run.. actually i felt quite gd for de race tdy.. first 10km was very comfortable.. had a toilet break in between as i really cant take it.. probably wasted a 2mins in there but at least i felt better to run but kinda lost de momentum cuz was struggling after de toilet break.. pushed myself for de last 3km.. did a 1hr 55mins 8 secs (hand-timed) for my army half marathon..
spoke to eric after dat.. well he kinda mentioned dat be it whether i trained or not, i'm always doin around this timing: 1hr 50mins to 2hrs.. pretty demoralising to hear dat.. feel like i'm coming to de end of my running.. since i cant improve anymore, i dun see any point in trying or working hard for smthg dat i wont make any difference.. wat's de point of continuing since i cant seem to motivate myself as well.. sometimes i juz feel so tired.. i cant find de perfect reason to push myself.. sometimes i juz dun know wat i really wanna do in life.. some days i feel like i know every path i shld take for my future plan.. some days i juz feel so lost, dun know wat i really want in life.. some days i'm happy from de bottom of the heart but most days i asked myself if i'm really happy or i'm juz trying to be happy or i'm juz entertaining pple, making them happy.. some days i asked myself if i'm truly happy but if i feel happy, wat's really making me happy, most of the time i cant find de answer to my question.. recently i feel tired easily.. not just physically but mentally.. not juz work but home.. some days i feel like isolating myself.. some days i feel like disappearing from this world.. most of the days i juz dun feel like i'm making any difference or contributing in any ways.. some days i asked myself if i can make a comeback in my sporting arena.. some days i tell myself i shld juz give up.. i really dun know wat i want.. is it really so difficult to find out wat i really want.. recently i miss my mum alot.. cuz i know if she's ard me, i dun have to wash my muddy shoes these 2 days.. i can b a princess.. picked up by dad after race, go home, shower, haf dinner and sleep, not having to worry abt my dirty clothes and stuffs.. tink i really take my parents for granted.. anywae i had survived a race tdy, one more race next wk (nike human race) and after which i shld really consider if i really wanna continue training or i shld juz forget abt coming back to my sporting arena.. WATEVER.. Life is really fucked up..
♥
Saturday, August 16, 2008
after laying off for abt a week, i went for my race.. Civil Service Club Bedok Reservoir Run.. Was in de women's open category representing SingHealth.. Covered a distance of 5.8km with a timing of 27:02 min (official timing though i took a 28:37min).. anywae was not expecting much out of this race cuz i havent really been training.. was aiming for a timing not more than 30min (5min/km) and hopefully to bag a top ten position.. i didnt had a good start off.. was a bit far behind cuz i was stuck with de crowd for de initial part.. only manage to break away when i was out of tp after crossing de bridge, at dat point zhaoyuan (who was my target as she actually surpass me de last time when we ran at bedok reservoir but she did a wrong route so i still manage to chase her back for de last stretch) was already ahead of me.. i told myself i must stay close behind her, till a point when i tink i was really very close behind her n my pace was abit slower, i decided to overtake her.. but i was fighting hard to pull away frm her cuz i really dun wanna lose to her again.. i didnt dare to slow down de moment i overtook her.. but i need my next target who was right ahead of me.. but she was maintaining her pace n i couldnt catch up with her and in fact at de end she managed to pull quite a distance away frm me.. guess insufficient trg resulted in poor ending.. my last part of de race was a struggle, i couldnt increase my pace, was in fact abit slower.. everytime a heard footstep right behind me, i juz got really worried, but luckily it was all de guys dat overtook me n not de ladies.. rachel n sumiko were too far ahead of me.. their timing was 2mins faster than me.. came back as 5th for individual and we were actually 1st for de team event.. de best thing was i only found out abt my team juz right b4 de race, dun even know who i'm racing for n who's in my team.. wat a joke..
my team mates
my funny fren - zhiyong
zhaoyuan & me
♥
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Time: 0700 hrs
Trg: Session 1
10 mins easy
20 mins (10km pace)
10 mins easy
Overall: Comfortable, felt much better than yesterday
woke up at 0630, tried calling aaron cuz we were supposed to run together, but cldnt get him.. so i was in n out of slp till 0645.. but i still cldnt get him.. thot he was still slping soundly but wateva it was, i decided to wake up and do de run myself.. we were supposed to meet at tpjc, i ran ard de area but cldnt see him.. i ended running ard tpjc n its estate while searching for de pasir ris park connector, kinda lost my way but i managed to find it in de end.. ran along pasir ris PCN to sunplaza park and back home..
shall go get ready for de nite.. having dinner with my colleagues at seafood harvest at bugis den meeting my sis to celebrate her bday though i had dinner wif her yesterday.. ciaoz..
♥
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Trg: 10mins warm-up
5mins hard
3mins easy
Total x 4sets
1st set pace was quite gd but i cld feel my legs getting heavier mayb (time for confession) dat's bcuz i havent been trg for de last 6days.. 2nd & 3rd sets were almost de same pace.. felt dat de pace was abt 20% slower than de 1st set.. upon finishing my 3rd set, i kinda gave up.. in fact i walked for abt 15-20s but i forced myself to continue.. finally i manage to complete 4sets.. i felt dat my pelvis was moving alot recently when i walk n esp when i run.. not quite sure y.. it didnt really hust but juz felt de shift some where.. but anywae will monitor n see how it goes.. hopefully i can wake up for my morning run tmr..
meanwhile i shall head for stephanie's father's wake.. aunt promised to let me drive to de venue but in de end she changed her mind.. was quite upset abt it.. felt dat if u dun trust me to drive den dun promise me in de 1st plc.. sometimes i really juz feel like buying a car.. though i know it'll b a financially straining for me but i really need my own transport to get ard to plces.. mayb i shld consider buying back a bike again.. cheap transport.. seriously i'll b bankrupt one day juz by taking cab.. anywae wateva..
♥
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
was reading jonathan's comment frm his multiply website dat i felt like blogging.. it's been mths since i last blog.. this is really long.. i'm not dat sad hence i do not need to blog dat much but i'm not dat either happy but not dat bad dat i need to blog.. but wateva hence i'm here i shld juz blog abt wateva comes to my inner thots.. let me blog abt my race first.. well done! i did my first adventure race after my accident, dat's like 1 & 1/2 yrs later.. i actually aim to complete de race, i manage to but i thot i cld do better and get a position but guess i've havent been trg hard for de race.. anywae it was eco-xcapade on 18th may 2008 @ hulu langat in selangor.. it's really ulu like wat de name suggested.. reach hulu langat on 17th (sat), had our race briefing + skill testing & equipment checks.. got a bed in de main dormitry as there's no more individual rooms.. had to share them wif alot of pple among them were de usa navy guys.. they were pretty noisy and i didnt sleep well.. another guy to blame for stealing my beauty slp was de guy slping on de top of my bed, he was so irritating.. tossing here & there.. everytime he moves, de metal bed creak.. tell me how to race well prior to race?!?! anywae after dinner on sat and after all de prep & settling down, ben, jon & me had supper.. at a mini-snack shop, cup-noodles looked gd, one each with a cup of hot milo.. dat's wat i call supper but really early.. went to bed early but fell aslp late and woke up really early like 5am in de morning.. stupid idiots.. but wateva, i was excited abt de race anywae, how to slp wif de adrenaline pumping? hehs.. pre-race prep + breakfast + frenz' greeting.. wat a great way to start my 1st race post RTA.. it all started off pretty well.. but de pace was too fast so by de time i got out of checkpoint 2 (shaving cream & cheezels) i was dead.. slopes were killer cuz no matter how i push myself, i never seem to b running at all, my legs juz doesnt listen.. (checkpoint 1 was jungles - i would say pretty tough trails ~ for me though.. hehs) it was much better after dat.. i started to pick up after all de waterfall & abseiling.. abseiling down was scary cuz i havent been doin it.. worst still right beside a waterfall.. and how much i hate swimming in de water.. it was damn scary.. wat make matter worst i was stuck wif de rope.. de rope got caught into my figure of 8.. stuck + strong current + hungryness + tiredness = extra strength (juz to get me thru de waterfall to steppable ground.. haha) at de point tink we were top 5 but subsequently i lost count.. lost my very first "soul" after de waterfall + streams.. tks to sam's tiny string, i manage to patch my "soul" back & get my soul running again.. trust me, at this point, i was really fighting for a top 3 positions.. wishful thinking cuz i didnt know de teams ahead of us were really very AHEAD of us.. guess it's de process of de race dat counts.. next come de most challenging part - roller-blading.. this not-so-can-skate-well-babe-who-wanna-prove-dat-she-can-skate-skates.. yes, tragic came.. following closely behind ben.. approaching my 1st slope.. c'mon diana, give it a try.. ok.. KAKBOOM!! (police siren right behind) i cldnt stop de moment i came to de slope, i juz went faster n faster ( scarier & scarier).. my legs opened up.. "diana close ur legs" "i cant" "you are goin to fall, quick grass patch" (dat was wat i saw ben was trying to do) "got cars parked on my right, a hut on my left, where u wan me to go" "stupid gal, juz go forward & fall" ~ diana's right brain talking to her left brain.. bimbotic conversation.. haha.. yes, i fell: on my butt, tilt sideway, glide down de slope on my left shoulder blade before i come to stop.. end result= multiple holes on my new-pink-super-cute-jersey --> sad.. not forgetting abt scratches on my new-purpleish-studded-rocer-blade.. (guess wat did our dear mr ben said after de race, faster go take ur blades and see if de diamonds are still intact - tks for de reminder, uncle ben..) anywae after de CRASH, ben shouted: remove ur blades & run.. i totally agree with dat sentence cuz jon who ran with his blades was no where to be seen.. u know y? cuz he had surpass us.. haha.. dat CRASH was scary enuff to put me off my blades.. thank god i did dat cuz i cant imagine wat wld happen if i dun for dat's far too many other slopes ahead.. in de end, de super steep slope at de end became a non-blading zone.. it's pretty waste of time to take off & put back ur blades.. i started running wif my blades, it was quite a distance but i ran really slow cuz after like more than 15mins, ben & jon were no where in sight.. i seriously haf no idea where did these two guys went.. i started running 2nd half of de route first cuz i know they cld catch up wif me.. i kept turning my head but was greeted wif disappointment cuz more n more teams r passing me.. when i was finally reaching de checkpoint, jon came "ben left his camelbak at de last checkpoint" haha.. ben was too excited abt blading dat he forgot his camelbak.. haha.. anywae i did smthg bad.. i carried jon's blades so dat he can run more carefree.. but when i turn up at de checkpoint, de officials were like, "omg, u r damn strong, to carry 2 pairs of blades to run" *on cloud nine already* haha.. i rested really long der cuz i practically was able to run de last phrase of de race.. haha.. hydration salts+power gel+water+rest+yokoyoko=ENERGY (diana's theory.. anywae i'm famous for bringing yoko yoko, trust me, it's useful & easy to apply..) up next: bamboo rafting.. this is where i lost my 2nd "soul".. i gave up on them.. cuz clinging onto my souls, i cldnt help ben & jon in any way to move de raft better & faster.. dragonboaters r always dragonboaters.. we found de best way to manuveour and we overtook 4-5 teams but not of de same category as us.. this is how u shld do it: one coxwain - uncle ben and two front rowers- jon & me.. haha.. balancing our weight in front to move away frm de rocks.. super efficient.. anywae i ran de last part of my race souless hence i was named de gal who lost her souls after de race.. anywae i muz really thank ben & jon for bringing me along for de race, no grudges frm them even though i slowed de team in many ways.. ur encouragement+jokes+fun+persistent+help= me completing de race.. seriously after eco-X, i was more enthu & motivated to do more race since i came back.. (de wk after we were back, i was running SGH family day beach relay n this coming wkend, i'll b doin singhealth relay) cheers, BEJODI.. nice name isnt it?!?! i came up wif it.. BEJODI's definition.. BEn + JOnathan + DIana.. 1st two alphabets of our name..
♥
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
haf u ever come across - speak de truth when u r drunk.. well i'm not exactly drunk but wateva i'm blogging tdy, it meant everything n everything dat i've kept within me for de past few months n i finally cant keep it anymore except letting it out.. feeling very emo now.. sometimes i feel like i'm a kid who never grow out of its age.. dat's wat i protray to pple & dat's wat they tink of me.. but only deep down inside me, i'm de only person who knows exactly how i feel,, met a fren of mine tdy.. sometimes i disagree wif her attitude & behaviour but still i cant juz let her out of my sight cuz somwhow or another she's de one who inspire me de most.. who gave me de courage to do wat i really wanna do & she's de one who really pushes me n tink more than wat i can give.. now, let me really share wat i really wanna give or haf..met up wif a gf tdy.. she told me dat i actually gave her feeling dat i'm not really to commit into a relationship.. dat's so wrong, seriously.. i told her i'm really & more than ready to start a relationship, get married & start my own family.. i've always fantasize abt wat kind of kids iw ould haf n how i would i educate me.. but de problem right now is i cant seem to find one whom i will love whole-heartedly or to simply put it, i've yet to find someone whom i've decide to spend a lifetime with.. frenz been telling me to find a guy who loves me more than i love him.. all i can tell is i can never be with one whom i dun even love so wat even if he loves me.. it's really a torture.. tried it.. it's not even interesting at all.. i really wanna find a guy whom i love n loves me too.. but somehow or another it seems so impossible or put it simply i cant find one.. besides my very first bf whom i feel dat i was stupid enuff to give him up, other than dat i never actually found someone like him, which means someone whom i love n who loves me.. so wat is love all abt? after awhile i gave up looking for love.. instead i search for fulfilment in life, which is job & money satisfaction.. i never dream of finding a golden tortoise (rish guy) which sounds impossible instead i long for earning dat by myself.. after a thorough sharing session, i've decided, i'm gonna proceed wif wat i haf at de back of my mind which is a plan or i shld consider my future..now this sounds pretty random, but de other day when i finally had a chance to go thru facebook, i chance by reuben's webpage.. as i was looking thru de photos posted by loved ones, i started tearing unconsciously.. i suddenly realised dat they r no longer around, esp jeremy.. but de other part of me was still living in de past.. tinking they r still ard.. wtd to give jeremy a buzz & see when's he's free to meet me.. but i slapped myself to reality.. "pls they r not ard anymore" no matter how hard i tink abt it, wat kind of possibilities.. all cld answered was they r not ard anymore.. de more i tink abt it, de more i teared.. human nature - regrets.. u only regret when things had happened n der's nothing dat u can do to change it, put it simply it's too late, nothing can b done.. i cant change history.. otherwise it shldnt b known as history..so my new goals r instead of focusing on unattainable goals, instead i shld focus on goals dat i can achieve.. first of all, my career, nothing else more than dat.. wish me luck..
♥
Monday, August 25, 2008
had a really busy day @ work.. 2 mc means 2 staffs down, means take one more case.. thankfully i had an empty room and i managed to tai-chi de patient to come in during pm shift.. at least i didnt take nap when i came home.. in fact i did smthg even more stupid.. lester wanted to run, so i thot i cld do an easy run after yesterday's ahm.. who knows 15mins into de jog, i felt pain coming thru my right knee but i didnt really stop and continued running, but another min passed and i cldnt take de pain any more.. i stopped and walk for abt 3-5mins and i continued jogging again, cont for another 5mins of even much slower jog.. ultimately i gave up as de pain was too unbearable.. i ended limping home cuz i cldnt even walk probably, every step i took, i cld feel de pain from de front of knee radiating till de back of de knee.. i'm really not sure wat's wrong, iced them for de whole nite, hopefully it'll b better tmr, otherwise i dun know how to do my nike human race this sun.. in fact after tinking thru de whole of last nite n whole of tdy while working, i realised, i cant give up running.. in fact i'm goin channel all de negative thots i had yesterday to b positive.. giving me motivation to train harder and prove to everyone including myself dat i'm not juz there, i'll b way in front.. but meanwhile b4 i can do dat, i better get my knee fixed..
♥
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Did my army half marathon tdy.. it was more of a motivational race for me as i've been feeling quite lazy plus not motivated to run.. i really dun know wat used to kept me motivated to run.. actually i felt quite gd for de race tdy.. first 10km was very comfortable.. had a toilet break in between as i really cant take it.. probably wasted a 2mins in there but at least i felt better to run but kinda lost de momentum cuz was struggling after de toilet break.. pushed myself for de last 3km.. did a 1hr 55mins 8 secs (hand-timed) for my army half marathon..
spoke to eric after dat.. well he kinda mentioned dat be it whether i trained or not, i'm always doin around this timing: 1hr 50mins to 2hrs.. pretty demoralising to hear dat.. feel like i'm coming to de end of my running.. since i cant improve anymore, i dun see any point in trying or working hard for smthg dat i wont make any difference.. wat's de point of continuing since i cant seem to motivate myself as well.. sometimes i juz feel so tired.. i cant find de perfect reason to push myself.. sometimes i juz dun know wat i really wanna do in life.. some days i feel like i know every path i shld take for my future plan.. some days i juz feel so lost, dun know wat i really want in life.. some days i'm happy from de bottom of the heart but most days i asked myself if i'm really happy or i'm juz trying to be happy or i'm juz entertaining pple, making them happy.. some days i asked myself if i'm truly happy but if i feel happy, wat's really making me happy, most of the time i cant find de answer to my question.. recently i feel tired easily.. not just physically but mentally.. not juz work but home.. some days i feel like isolating myself.. some days i feel like disappearing from this world.. most of the days i juz dun feel like i'm making any difference or contributing in any ways.. some days i asked myself if i can make a comeback in my sporting arena.. some days i tell myself i shld juz give up.. i really dun know wat i want.. is it really so difficult to find out wat i really want.. recently i miss my mum alot.. cuz i know if she's ard me, i dun have to wash my muddy shoes these 2 days.. i can b a princess.. picked up by dad after race, go home, shower, haf dinner and sleep, not having to worry abt my dirty clothes and stuffs.. tink i really take my parents for granted.. anywae i had survived a race tdy, one more race next wk (nike human race) and after which i shld really consider if i really wanna continue training or i shld juz forget abt coming back to my sporting arena.. WATEVER.. Life is really fucked up..
♥
Saturday, August 16, 2008
after laying off for abt a week, i went for my race.. Civil Service Club Bedok Reservoir Run.. Was in de women's open category representing SingHealth.. Covered a distance of 5.8km with a timing of 27:02 min (official timing though i took a 28:37min).. anywae was not expecting much out of this race cuz i havent really been training.. was aiming for a timing not more than 30min (5min/km) and hopefully to bag a top ten position.. i didnt had a good start off.. was a bit far behind cuz i was stuck with de crowd for de initial part.. only manage to break away when i was out of tp after crossing de bridge, at dat point zhaoyuan (who was my target as she actually surpass me de last time when we ran at bedok reservoir but she did a wrong route so i still manage to chase her back for de last stretch) was already ahead of me.. i told myself i must stay close behind her, till a point when i tink i was really very close behind her n my pace was abit slower, i decided to overtake her.. but i was fighting hard to pull away frm her cuz i really dun wanna lose to her again.. i didnt dare to slow down de moment i overtook her.. but i need my next target who was right ahead of me.. but she was maintaining her pace n i couldnt catch up with her and in fact at de end she managed to pull quite a distance away frm me.. guess insufficient trg resulted in poor ending.. my last part of de race was a struggle, i couldnt increase my pace, was in fact abit slower.. everytime a heard footstep right behind me, i juz got really worried, but luckily it was all de guys dat overtook me n not de ladies.. rachel n sumiko were too far ahead of me.. their timing was 2mins faster than me.. came back as 5th for individual and we were actually 1st for de team event.. de best thing was i only found out abt my team juz right b4 de race, dun even know who i'm racing for n who's in my team.. wat a joke..
my team mates
my funny fren - zhiyong
zhaoyuan & me
♥
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Time: 0700 hrs
Trg: Session 1
10 mins easy
20 mins (10km pace)
10 mins easy
Overall: Comfortable, felt much better than yesterday
woke up at 0630, tried calling aaron cuz we were supposed to run together, but cldnt get him.. so i was in n out of slp till 0645.. but i still cldnt get him.. thot he was still slping soundly but wateva it was, i decided to wake up and do de run myself.. we were supposed to meet at tpjc, i ran ard de area but cldnt see him.. i ended running ard tpjc n its estate while searching for de pasir ris park connector, kinda lost my way but i managed to find it in de end.. ran along pasir ris PCN to sunplaza park and back home..
shall go get ready for de nite.. having dinner with my colleagues at seafood harvest at bugis den meeting my sis to celebrate her bday though i had dinner wif her yesterday.. ciaoz..
♥
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Trg: 10mins warm-up
5mins hard
3mins easy
Total x 4sets
1st set pace was quite gd but i cld feel my legs getting heavier mayb (time for confession) dat's bcuz i havent been trg for de last 6days.. 2nd & 3rd sets were almost de same pace.. felt dat de pace was abt 20% slower than de 1st set.. upon finishing my 3rd set, i kinda gave up.. in fact i walked for abt 15-20s but i forced myself to continue.. finally i manage to complete 4sets.. i felt dat my pelvis was moving alot recently when i walk n esp when i run.. not quite sure y.. it didnt really hust but juz felt de shift some where.. but anywae will monitor n see how it goes.. hopefully i can wake up for my morning run tmr..
meanwhile i shall head for stephanie's father's wake.. aunt promised to let me drive to de venue but in de end she changed her mind.. was quite upset abt it.. felt dat if u dun trust me to drive den dun promise me in de 1st plc.. sometimes i really juz feel like buying a car.. though i know it'll b a financially straining for me but i really need my own transport to get ard to plces.. mayb i shld consider buying back a bike again.. cheap transport.. seriously i'll b bankrupt one day juz by taking cab.. anywae wateva..
♥
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
was reading jonathan's comment frm his multiply website dat i felt like blogging.. it's been mths since i last blog.. this is really long.. i'm not dat sad hence i do not need to blog dat much but i'm not dat either happy but not dat bad dat i need to blog.. but wateva hence i'm here i shld juz blog abt wateva comes to my inner thots.. let me blog abt my race first.. well done! i did my first adventure race after my accident, dat's like 1 & 1/2 yrs later.. i actually aim to complete de race, i manage to but i thot i cld do better and get a position but guess i've havent been trg hard for de race.. anywae it was eco-xcapade on 18th may 2008 @ hulu langat in selangor.. it's really ulu like wat de name suggested.. reach hulu langat on 17th (sat), had our race briefing + skill testing & equipment checks.. got a bed in de main dormitry as there's no more individual rooms.. had to share them wif alot of pple among them were de usa navy guys.. they were pretty noisy and i didnt sleep well.. another guy to blame for stealing my beauty slp was de guy slping on de top of my bed, he was so irritating.. tossing here & there.. everytime he moves, de metal bed creak.. tell me how to race well prior to race?!?! anywae after dinner on sat and after all de prep & settling down, ben, jon & me had supper.. at a mini-snack shop, cup-noodles looked gd, one each with a cup of hot milo.. dat's wat i call supper but really early.. went to bed early but fell aslp late and woke up really early like 5am in de morning.. stupid idiots.. but wateva, i was excited abt de race anywae, how to slp wif de adrenaline pumping? hehs.. pre-race prep + breakfast + frenz' greeting.. wat a great way to start my 1st race post RTA.. it all started off pretty well.. but de pace was too fast so by de time i got out of checkpoint 2 (shaving cream & cheezels) i was dead.. slopes were killer cuz no matter how i push myself, i never seem to b running at all, my legs juz doesnt listen.. (checkpoint 1 was jungles - i would say pretty tough trails ~ for me though.. hehs) it was much better after dat.. i started to pick up after all de waterfall & abseiling.. abseiling down was scary cuz i havent been doin it.. worst still right beside a waterfall.. and how much i hate swimming in de water.. it was damn scary.. wat make matter worst i was stuck wif de rope.. de rope got caught into my figure of 8.. stuck + strong current + hungryness + tiredness = extra strength (juz to get me thru de waterfall to steppable ground.. haha) at de point tink we were top 5 but subsequently i lost count.. lost my very first "soul" after de waterfall + streams.. tks to sam's tiny string, i manage to patch my "soul" back & get my soul running again.. trust me, at this point, i was really fighting for a top 3 positions.. wishful thinking cuz i didnt know de teams ahead of us were really very AHEAD of us.. guess it's de process of de race dat counts.. next come de most challenging part - roller-blading.. this not-so-can-skate-well-babe-who-wanna-prove-dat-she-can-skate-skates.. yes, tragic came.. following closely behind ben.. approaching my 1st slope.. c'mon diana, give it a try.. ok.. KAKBOOM!! (police siren right behind) i cldnt stop de moment i came to de slope, i juz went faster n faster ( scarier & scarier).. my legs opened up.. "diana close ur legs" "i cant" "you are goin to fall, quick grass patch" (dat was wat i saw ben was trying to do) "got cars parked on my right, a hut on my left, where u wan me to go" "stupid gal, juz go forward & fall" ~ diana's right brain talking to her left brain.. bimbotic conversation.. haha.. yes, i fell: on my butt, tilt sideway, glide down de slope on my left shoulder blade before i come to stop.. end result= multiple holes on my new-pink-super-cute-jersey --> sad.. not forgetting abt scratches on my new-purpleish-studded-rocer-blade.. (guess wat did our dear mr ben said after de race, faster go take ur blades and see if de diamonds are still intact - tks for de reminder, uncle ben..) anywae after de CRASH, ben shouted: remove ur blades & run.. i totally agree with dat sentence cuz jon who ran with his blades was no where to be seen.. u know y? cuz he had surpass us.. haha.. dat CRASH was scary enuff to put me off my blades.. thank god i did dat cuz i cant imagine wat wld happen if i dun for dat's far too many other slopes ahead.. in de end, de super steep slope at de end became a non-blading zone.. it's pretty waste of time to take off & put back ur blades.. i started running wif my blades, it was quite a distance but i ran really slow cuz after like more than 15mins, ben & jon were no where in sight.. i seriously haf no idea where did these two guys went.. i started running 2nd half of de route first cuz i know they cld catch up wif me.. i kept turning my head but was greeted wif disappointment cuz more n more teams r passing me.. when i was finally reaching de checkpoint, jon came "ben left his camelbak at de last checkpoint" haha.. ben was too excited abt blading dat he forgot his camelbak.. haha.. anywae i did smthg bad.. i carried jon's blades so dat he can run more carefree.. but when i turn up at de checkpoint, de officials were like, "omg, u r damn strong, to carry 2 pairs of blades to run" *on cloud nine already* haha.. i rested really long der cuz i practically was able to run de last phrase of de race.. haha.. hydration salts+power gel+water+rest+yokoyoko=ENERGY (diana's theory.. anywae i'm famous for bringing yoko yoko, trust me, it's useful & easy to apply..) up next: bamboo rafting.. this is where i lost my 2nd "soul".. i gave up on them.. cuz clinging onto my souls, i cldnt help ben & jon in any way to move de raft better & faster.. dragonboaters r always dragonboaters.. we found de best way to manuveour and we overtook 4-5 teams but not of de same category as us.. this is how u shld do it: one coxwain - uncle ben and two front rowers- jon & me.. haha.. balancing our weight in front to move away frm de rocks.. super efficient.. anywae i ran de last part of my race souless hence i was named de gal who lost her souls after de race.. anywae i muz really thank ben & jon for bringing me along for de race, no grudges frm them even though i slowed de team in many ways.. ur encouragement+jokes+fun+persistent+help= me completing de race.. seriously after eco-X, i was more enthu & motivated to do more race since i came back.. (de wk after we were back, i was running SGH family day beach relay n this coming wkend, i'll b doin singhealth relay) cheers, BEJODI.. nice name isnt it?!?! i came up wif it.. BEJODI's definition.. BEn + JOnathan + DIana.. 1st two alphabets of our name..
♥
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
haf u ever come across - speak de truth when u r drunk.. well i'm not exactly drunk but wateva i'm blogging tdy, it meant everything n everything dat i've kept within me for de past few months n i finally cant keep it anymore except letting it out.. feeling very emo now.. sometimes i feel like i'm a kid who never grow out of its age.. dat's wat i protray to pple & dat's wat they tink of me.. but only deep down inside me, i'm de only person who knows exactly how i feel,, met a fren of mine tdy.. sometimes i disagree wif her attitude & behaviour but still i cant juz let her out of my sight cuz somwhow or another she's de one who inspire me de most.. who gave me de courage to do wat i really wanna do & she's de one who really pushes me n tink more than wat i can give.. now, let me really share wat i really wanna give or haf..met up wif a gf tdy.. she told me dat i actually gave her feeling dat i'm not really to commit into a relationship.. dat's so wrong, seriously.. i told her i'm really & more than ready to start a relationship, get married & start my own family.. i've always fantasize abt wat kind of kids iw ould haf n how i would i educate me.. but de problem right now is i cant seem to find one whom i will love whole-heartedly or to simply put it, i've yet to find someone whom i've decide to spend a lifetime with.. frenz been telling me to find a guy who loves me more than i love him.. all i can tell is i can never be with one whom i dun even love so wat even if he loves me.. it's really a torture.. tried it.. it's not even interesting at all.. i really wanna find a guy whom i love n loves me too.. but somehow or another it seems so impossible or put it simply i cant find one.. besides my very first bf whom i feel dat i was stupid enuff to give him up, other than dat i never actually found someone like him, which means someone whom i love n who loves me.. so wat is love all abt? after awhile i gave up looking for love.. instead i search for fulfilment in life, which is job & money satisfaction.. i never dream of finding a golden tortoise (rish guy) which sounds impossible instead i long for earning dat by myself.. after a thorough sharing session, i've decided, i'm gonna proceed wif wat i haf at de back of my mind which is a plan or i shld consider my future..now this sounds pretty random, but de other day when i finally had a chance to go thru facebook, i chance by reuben's webpage.. as i was looking thru de photos posted by loved ones, i started tearing unconsciously.. i suddenly realised dat they r no longer around, esp jeremy.. but de other part of me was still living in de past.. tinking they r still ard.. wtd to give jeremy a buzz & see when's he's free to meet me.. but i slapped myself to reality.. "pls they r not ard anymore" no matter how hard i tink abt it, wat kind of possibilities.. all cld answered was they r not ard anymore.. de more i tink abt it, de more i teared.. human nature - regrets.. u only regret when things had happened n der's nothing dat u can do to change it, put it simply it's too late, nothing can b done.. i cant change history.. otherwise it shldnt b known as history..so my new goals r instead of focusing on unattainable goals, instead i shld focus on goals dat i can achieve.. first of all, my career, nothing else more than dat.. wish me luck..
